Whatever Heat. Seeing this picture reminds me of the annoying guy at work that has the highest sales every month. You hate him, but he's awesome........

Philly is kicking our ass........

OK, so here we go....I'm about to rant hard on this complete joke of a negotiation with Cliff Lee.

These past 2 days have been a disgrace in Dallas. On Sunday, the Cowboys defense collapsed again to the Eagles at home. Hey Cowboys, its called run defense, learn it. Oh whats that? The offense kept going 3 and out and you got tired during the second half? Figures, it's the same ole song and dance.

And here comes Monday. Mavs have a 20 point lead to the.....uhhhhh.....Milwaukee Bucks only to lose it. Mavs have a gauntlet coming up with Phoenix, Portland, Miami, Orlando, and OKC and this is what they do? Way to go.

And then Monday night we get the worst news of all.......

Lee signs with the Phillies, 5 years at 100 million. Yes, the Phillies. The same team that told him "thanks, but no thanks" last year, is the team that he goes back to. Like the girlfriend that breaks your heart, you go back with your tail tucked between your legs. And spare me all this "he wants to win" bullsh*t. Rather than stick with a team that just left the World Series 5 minutes ago, you go the easy route, Lebron style. This is a move that a Darren Oliver, Trevor Hoffman, Andy Pettite, or some other old fart would make to have a last chance of winning a title. Thats when this is OK but not when you're in your prime. Have a back bone and a competitive spirit and challenge yourself in a smart way. Don't take the escalator when theres a few stairs in the way. My gosh, show a pair!! (of f*cking balls)

If you want a legacy and want to be one of the greatest of all time, which all signs pointed to Lee wanting to be this guy, you play for a team where you make a difference. Take a city somewhere its never been....to the promise land. Prove critics wrong and show that you're human by staying close to home or make a honest decision. Stop making decisions based on money that you'll never spend or making excuses that you want to "win". You can win anywhere, the 2010 Rangers are a good example. This was a chicken shit move to say the least. Lee wasted Texas' time as we watched other solid free agents drive by in the other direction. We wined and dined this guy and he takes off to the ex girlfriend. Real sweet move Lee, thanks for giving me another reason to hate Philadelphia. I hope you freeze your ass off up there and I'll enjoy watching you and the Heat lose this season.

And oh yea, thanks for falling apart in the World Series you bum......... "But Tony, if it wasn't for Lee, you wouldn't have been in the World Series". Save your breath. The Mavericks once made it to the finals too, you know what we call them? Not champions.

The Best Cereal Ranking Blog of All Time.......

Often under appreciated, it's been a part of our lives forever. Im talking about cereal here people, so here's my rank of all time best cereals. You may disagree, but you're probably a cereal snob and only eat Raisin Bran or Wheat Chex....something boring like that. So here we go, in particular order.

1o. Cookie Crisp. You dont hear much about this classic these days. Maybe it's because it's basically chocolate chip cookies in a bowl of milk. Parents must frown upon that these days.







9. Honey Comb. Not only are these delicious, but have you noticed that you can get a HUGE box for a reasonable price. This one is tops in value, but value doesnt taste good. So wear this number 9 spot, Honey Comb.








8. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The funny thing is that I only like cinnamon on 2 things. Rolls and CTC.










7. Apple Jacks. Go ahead, tell me that they taste anything like apples, you'll be a liar. Nontheless, delecious.










6. Cocoa Puffs. Whats awesome about this? Oh, I dont know, maybe the free chocolate milk you get after 2 bowls. Coo Coo for CoCo Puffs.









5. Fruity Pebbles. The only reason these aren't ranked higher is because once they get soggy, they're hard as hell to catch on the spoon and eat. These are best freshly poured and crispy.








4. Frosted Flakes. Theyyyyy'rrrrrrrre Grrrrrrrreat. But not the greatest. This is about the most "plain" that I'll get on the cereal front.








3. Lucky Charms. "Rubbings Racing". Thats what the leprechaun told Tony the Tiger during this race when he took the 3 spot. It was a close finish. When I was a kid I would eat all the boring parts first and leave the marshmallows until the end.








2. Cap'n Crunch Berries. Sometimes these bad boys are a little rough and rub the inside of your mouth. But the tasty berries even it out.









1. Marshmallow Fruit Loops. You take the wonderfulness of toucan sam, and throw in a bit of Lucky Charms greatness, you get this master piece. I hope the guy who came up with this idea is sitting in a corner office at the Kellogg's headquarters.

Rangers, the Mavs and Cowboys welcome you to their club.....

Series 3-1 in favor of the giants.

As much as I should be happy just to have made it here, I'm raging on the inside and I want to drive to SF and punch someone in the face!! There's been a ton of missed opportunities and with the exception of game 3, we havent even shown up. After taking down the Rays and the Evil Empire in style, we're now struggling against a team of no names that are making themselves known at our expense.

Lets first talk about the media and how they forecasted the series before it began. A majority of them picked Texas because of the offense and the arms. So theres 2 questions to ask yourself based on what we've seen so far:

1. Is the SF pitching really this good? And if so, the media has been "pitching wins championships" for years, so why didnt they see this coming?

or

2. Did the Ranger offense choke with the pressure of the big lights and have they completley forgot how to hit? Was the fact that the media picked them too much for texas

I'll go with a perfect mix of both.... But why is it that it takes a meeting with the Rangers for the giants to start hitting like the all stars?

Secondly, how many f$%king breaks are the giants going to get? I mean really? This is getting ridiculous. The giants fans back home have to be wondering why these wins are coming so easily. Did they sell their soul? Lets go through a list of breaks these clowns have recieved......

1. Game 1. After going 7-0 in the postseason with numbers threatening the greatest post season numbers of all time, Cliff Lee promptly goes and gives up 5 in a game 1 loss.

2. Sanchez's gets his first double of the night with a hit down the right field line that hits the chalk. Posey then gets a blooper over Kinsler to bring in the first run. Oday comes in and opens the flood gates and gives up 11 total runs to a team that didnt score more than 5 in a game all postseason!!!!!

3. Game 2, Kinsler hits a shot to center that goes off TOP of the wall and comes back in. Im still trying to figure that one out. I paid attention in physics class, and that doesnt make sense.

4. Derek Holland comes in with a 2-0 sf lead. Then proceeds to throw 12 out 13 pitches for balls. Walking in 2. Then Lowe (who hasnt thrown all post season) gives up more. The game by this time is out of hand. 9-0 giants. Refer to the no-more-than=5 runs in a postseason game stats above.

5. Game 3. Rangers hitting into 4 double plays that kept the game closer than it shouldve been. We made Uribe and Renteria look like Mike Schmidt and Cal Ripken Jr this series.

6. Game 4. Sanchez snow-cones a definite RBI chance by Francoeur in the 3rd. Dont know how.

7. giants player called safe at first on a could-be double play by texas but the ump blows the call. He doensnt score thanks to a Hamilton play in cf, but it effects the pitch count and makes hunter work.

8. Torres hits a ball down the right field line and off the base making it unplayable for Moreland resulting in a double. Huff then delivers a shot to right field making it 2-0 giants.

9. Shot down the line for Renteria goes off the webbing of Youngs glove at third. Getting a runner on that promptly scores a few plays later.

10. Torres hits a ball to right center that misses being a ground rule double by 2 inches. If it wouldve bounced over, renteria wouldnt have scored.

9. In the 8th, Andrus gets called out at first when he was obviously safe. Ump blowing one earlier in sf's favor, blows another in....well....sf's favor.

10. Our best righty in relief, Agando, goes out with a muscle strain. Done for the post season.

11. Posey goes deep to CF. Hamilton starts a casual jog backward thinking its an easy out, but the ball keeps floating and makes it out of the ballpark. But Francouer jacks one to left the next inning that looks gone. But a magical gust of san francisco wind hits it dies into Ross' glove. Couldve been a huge HR.

12. Not so much a break, but we make a f$%king rookie look like Sandy f$%ing Koufax out there in the WORLD SERIES! Are you telling me that we couldnt get at least one rally together vs. this guy? We let him come into our house and dominate? Unbelievable!!

Yea, Yea, Yea, its great that we made it this far. But dont hit the f$%king brakes just because we made it to the World Series!!! We look like Rookies out there. But not san fran rookies, Texas rookies!!

Another Dallas team bites the dust in extraordinary fashion. After the opportunity to finally give the city of Dallas a team that can actually come through, they collapsed. Theyve failed to show up and have only challenged the giants once in a series where a majority of the national media picked us to win. Im not saying its over and Cliff Lee may go out and get a win tomorrow. But going back to san fran looks dreary. And by the looks on the Rangers faces and the bats, they're done. I would love to congratulate them on a great season, but its just too hard to do that right now. I'd love to be eating Crow next week if we come back and win this thing but it's unlikely.

Lets take a look at the past few season of Dallas sports and how we've collapsed:

2006: Romo botched fg hold in Seattle.
2006: Mavs collapse in the finals after being up 2-0. I could talk about this one all day but Im already pissed enough.
2007: #1 seed Mavs collapse to a golden state #8 seed. I dont think Baron Davis missed a shot in that series.
2007: After sweeping the giants in the regular season, the Cowboys lose to NY in the playoffs after going 13-3.
2008: Mavs first round exit to the Hornets. David West slaps Dirk in the face and we just sit there and take it, Dallas style.
2008: Cowboys play Philly in the play in game for the playoffs. We get crushed 44-6. This after getting beat by Baltimore the week before in the So-Long-Texas Stadium game. Way to pay your respects Cowboys.
2009: Mavs lose in Playoffs to the Denver Thugges. Game 5, carmelo hits a dagger 3 after an obvious foul when we had one to give.
2010: Mavs lose to a lesser Spurs team in the first round by letting a rookie, George Hill, torch us all series. We were the #2 seed losing to a #7 seed.
2010: Cowboys are 1-6 after being a preseason favorite to go to the superbowl.
2010: These Rangers. After beating the 2nd and 3rd best teams in baseball to get to the World Series, we dont even show up vs. the Giants. Done.

Now on to the NBA season. I'm interested in seeing how the Mavs will blow it this year. Im sure by either a first round exit to a team not as good as them, or in the conference finals by getting pummeled.

Its the Dallas way....... But I love my teams, thats why it sucks so much!

Rangers Win The Pennant!

So we've done it! Arod finally came through for us and took a K looking to send the Rangers to the World F'ng Series. This blows any Cowboys super bowl or Mavs finals run out of the water. The Cowboys were winning when I was too young to appreciate it and the Mavs have been relevant the past 10 seasons so it was bound to happen. But the Rangers......the Texas Rangers, finally got it done. After years of suffering and watching top prospects and great players come and go, they finally came through. Because my mind is going 100 mph and I cant put solid sentences together to write paragraphs that make any sense, I'll put my thoughts in list form. In no particular order, here's my observations of the Rangers franchise and this magical season:

1. Not to take ANYTHING away from this team, but this one's for Juan Gonzalez, Dean Palmer, Julio Franco, Geno Petralli, Steve Beuchele, Rafael Palmeiro, Pudge Rodriguez, Rusty Greer, Kevin Elster, and Mark Mclemore. These are players I grew up watching at Arlington Stadium and the Ballpark in Arlington. I bet these guys are pumped to see Texas finally make it.

2. The yankee fans are a joke and a disgrace. Why would anybody (cliff lee) want to go there and deal with that. I don't care how many statues are beyond the outfield wall, F that team.

3. Mitch Moreland was the best call up of the entire season. Great on Defense and he's had some huge at bats. Chris Davis can crush in the minor leagues but the guy strikes out more than some tool in an affliction shirt at Ghost Bar.

4. Throughout the Ron Washington coke deal, the bankruptcy, the lengthy Nolan/Greenberg thing, and the injuries.....this season was full of drama. I commend the team for sticking with it. Makes for a great story if we can win the whole thing.

5. Just wear the white uniforms at home.

6. It was so awesome to see us win the pennant at home. The fans were going INSANE! Too bad we cant see that same enthusiasm at the AAC or Cowboys stadium, i dont get it.

7. Rangers have the best Home Run celebration in the game. "The Natural" music with fireworks everywhere!

8. Tampa Bay reallllly messed up by mocking the Claw and Antlers thing. TBS caught it on camera a few times and they paid for it in that joke of a stadium in game 5.

9. Cruz can absolutely crush. I cant remember an at bat where he didn't hit a lazer. I just hopes he doesn't go up thinking home run every a.b. in the world series.

10. I've been wanting a SF new era hat for a while but I'll have to hold up on that.

11. TBS broadcasters were awful!!! So obviously rooting for the yankees in games 1-5. It wasn't funny.

12. Nolan holding up the ALCS trophy was the moment that tears filled my eyes. I love that guy. I remember watching him pitch at the old stadium and he would drop curse words after every pitch that wasn't a strike. Classic!

13. Start Vlad, sit Murphy on the road this series.....maybe. I haven't figured that out yet.

14. Cliff Lee is absolutely amazing. He is easily the most clutch Dallas athlete since Troy Aikman. But I'd have to give the edge to Cliff. I keep waiting for someone to hit him hard but it never happens. It blows my mind, he's like a machine.

15. We should be the favorites in this series. But we've been there before. Mavs were the favorites in '06 vs. the Heat, and we all know what happened then.

16. It feels so good for one of our Dallas teams to finally come through. After all the years of heartbreaking chokes, we finally got a team that got it done.

17. The key difference between us and the competition this year, the Rangers actually swing the bat. Other teams are looking to walk while we put up crooked numbers on the scoreboard inning after inning. Combine that with the aggressive base running, we're tough to beat.

18. Yankees payroll was $152 million higher that ours. Yet we dominated them in every aspect of the game. Sorry yankees and phillies, your evil plan backfired. So suck it NY Daily News writer of this article. (For those of you not familiar with the way this works, click on the words "this article".

19. Bring on the Giants.

Lazer Pee

I'll give you a few scenarios guys, then you tell me if you can relate.....

1. Its Tuesday morning, 9:47 a.m. and you just showed up for your job interview at Workforthemaninacubicleyourwholelife Incorporated. You have your sweet ass Banana Republic suit you bought JUST for this interview. You decided to go with beige thinking that everyone else goes black, lets be different! You get to the office and sign in with the receptionist. Then you realize, you have to pee. You find the nearest bathroom and step up to the urinal, rehearsing your lines for this crucial interview. "If you asked a manager about me, they would tell you that Im a team player blah blah blah...." Then, it happens....lazer pee!! Its a phenomenon that is yet to be explained. It goes everywhere! On the floor, your pants, even your brown italian leather slip-ons...pretty much everywhere except the target. You start to panic! "What the fu*k! No!!!" Its crunch time, the interview starts at 10 and you're in the bathroom almost in tears contemplating calling the HR lady and cancelling due to "car trouble."

2. It's morning and you're at your girlfriends apt. You make your daily morning trip to the bathroom. In this situation, you dont get the luxury of a urinal to catch the 6 shooting lazers of fury! So you're still about 57% asleep at this point and you start to pee, it happens. Piss is shooting everywhere like a Pink Floyd lazer light show! All over the seat, which is manageable. But it gets all over the floor; I'm talking a puddle because you cant just stop the stream once it's started. You have to wear it and suffer the consequences. It even sprays over to the shower curtain. This lazer pee has no boundaries and it doesnt care about your feelings. So what do you do? Grab a 6 ft. long piece of toilet paper and start the clean up duties. Trust me, you NEVER get it all and you're gf will wonder what the hell is taking so long.

See, you're not alone guys........

Hey Tony, whats the point? Do you have a resolution to save us all more heartache? Why yes, yes I do. The patented "Hand Block" technique. This is something I've been working on the last year or so and Ive decided to share. This is how it works....hold penis with your left hand, shield pants with you're right. This blocks your pants but also stops excess pee from shooting 3 feet to the right and getting on the magazines. Worst case scenario, you get some on your hand. Calm down guys.....its ok!!! I'll have you know that some of the best athletes in the world pee on their own hands to prevent calluses, e.g. Mariano Rivera, Yankees Closer.....google it if you dont believe me. Plus relax, you go wash it off. I'd rather wash my hands with soap than have a panic attack in a public restroom because it looks like I pissed myself, which I did. Its also better than having to do a full out Mr. Clean on a bathroom.

Roger Goodell = Bill Lumberg

The NFL is proposing taking the season to 18 games. Basically cutting out the Pre-Season. Roger Goodell, his minions, and the owners say that they would approve of the 18 games.......SHOCKER! You mean the owners would be open to extending the season to 18 games because thats what the "fans want"? Let me get out my calculator here....(shuffles office supplies around).....MORE GAMES x MORE FANS + FOAM FINGERS + $22 BEERS + TV SHARE / 3.14 - BRAINS = MORE MONEY! More money equals more suits and more executive suites for the stadium, Yesssss. 99.8% of the NFL players are opposed to it for obvious reasons. 1. Wear and tear on the body (See Brett Favre) 2. Reduces the importance of the regular season games. More games means more losses will potentially get you in the playoffs C. How are the rookies and guys fighting for spots supposed to prove themselves with less or no preseason games? 4. The NFL is actually asking the players to take a pay cut but play more games. What is this, Office Space? "Im gonna go ahead and ask you to come in on Saturrrday....mmkay?" I'm sure that will go over just fine. So considering that there's a potential lockout next season, I'd say it might be a smart idea to do what the players ask. But what do I know, Im just a fan.....

Coming Soon.....My stadium breakdowns and the best NBA play of all time.......and it doesnt involve Jordan.

Make It Happen

I've read and heard a lot of motivational things in the past few years. Whether it be a Joel Olsteen book, work training, or a movie. What usually happens is that I get really pumped the few hours afterwards thinking I'm going to change the world, but the feeling is gone the next day or I just simply forget. Come to think of it, the same thing happens after leaving Church. The service will be awesome and full of messages that I swear are directed only to me. But by Monday, it's not even a thought. Why is that? Is it because of the constant negativity brought on by the news, bills, or anything else life can bring? Is it easier to throw in the towel and just settle for whats going on? Or is it because I'm just too tired of the constant line of obstacles that are tossed in front of me? I've always thought of myself as something more than just working for the man or giving into the common lifestyle. But it's so easy to get sucked in. This is what makes the world go round. The "normals" are chilling, living a mediocre life and settling for a job that they hate, but do it because its all they know. But then theres those that make it happen and use their knowledge of the common man, then do what it takes to make the common man's life better, therefore increasing the quality of his/her own life (write that down). These are people that know their potential and decide to take advantage of it.

This past week has been interesting. I feel that I'm right on the cusp of something big. Something life changing. Something positive. I just have to keep a positive attitude. I've come too far and I'm too awesome to not be great. My family deserves it, and so do I.

Keeping it Real......

This is me, taking the bull by the horns.

Ok, the picture above is irrelevant but I thought it was funny. The real sh*t is below......

If you dont do some deep thinking and self analyzing while listening to this song, then you need to make a trip to the wizard and ask for a soul. While listening to this, here's what going through my mind. I suggest you click play and listen along (it gets really good at about 2:17 in). Maybe even start your own list if you have the balls......



1. My daughter Mackenzi and how the first time I saw her, I was more in love with her than anything you can possibly imagine. Yes, even more than the Mavs.
2. My wife, how much i love her, and the journey we've been through and how crazy life has been the last 2 years. One of these days we're gonna look back and laugh. I promise.
3. How bad ass it would be to make a movie with this song as the ending credits.
4. How much I love and appreciate my family and friends for making me who I am today.
5. How beautiful God made the world. Outside of the concrete jungles. Unless its the Dallas Skyline at night. Cant beat it.
6. Even though things havent went as planned in my life, its just the way it is. Its all happening for a reason.
7. How awesome my Grandpa was and how I wish he were here to meet Mackenzi and Traci.
8. How insane the universe is and how we havent even scratched the surface on exploration. F*cking nuts!
9.
10. I wish that I had my boys here to play guitar while I played my drums and we made music like this.
11. Speaking of my boys, my crue. Rio, Ben, Jacob, and Daniel. I miss you f*ckers and Im glad that we lived life to the fullest while we were all together in San Marcos.
12. About how I miss that Texas sky.
13. About all the mistakes Ive made in the past but wouldnt change a thing.
14. About how thankful I am to have the mental capacity to understand and appreciate all of the things above.

Best Superbowl Halftime Show Ever

Its needs no explanation. You know exactly what it is.......Other halftime shows aim to be half as good as this one was.

Say it aint Stro's......

With the Houston Astros being my 3rd favorite MLB team, I felt obligated to write about the recent hijackings from the Al Queda's (NY and Philly) of baseball. (I also promised a good bud of mine that I would). Yes, I understand that Oswalt requested a trade. But really? The Phillies? Oh, I'm sorry it's been a whole...9 months since you've made it to the world series?! Guess you just had to go out and add another ace to the rotation. I don't even have to get into how unfair that it is for Philly to go out and throw Happ and some no names at the Astros in return for Oswalt. And Houston even paid $11 million of Oswalts salary! WTF! Its like the hooker paying you! Then theres the Berkman thing. Its that time of year again when the Yankees come a' callin'. Throwing 2 no name pitchers to Houston that will probably never get out of Round Rock or sniff Minute Maid in exchange for the face of the franchise in Berkman. Now here's why this is stupid. Berkman knows he'll be back next season, Houston is home. As a matter of fact, he's planning on crashing on Pettites couch for the few months that he's in NY. So is New York really in that bad of shape? They already have Nick Johnson (virtually the same player minus being a switch hitter) coming back from the DL but they felt the need to add Berkman too? I hate how the Wal Mart of professional baseball adds another all star to the roster for a few months just to make a title run.....again. Just to let them walk the next season (just like Philly letting Cliff Lee walk 2 seasons ago). Good for the evil empires, bad for the league.

Yankees Starters:
C Jorge Posa
1B Mark Texiera
2B Robinson Cano
SS Derek Jeter
3B Alex Rodriguez*
LF Brett Gardner
CF Curtis Granderson
RF Nick Swisher
DH Lance Berkman

Phillie Top of Rotation:
Roy Halladay
Cole Hamels
Roy Oswalt

......I just threw up in my mouth. Sick.

The Killers Live at the Royal Albert Hall

This is why live concerts are so awesome. Look how pumped everybody is! It gives me chills to see everyone rocking out together. What a great show. I need to go to a concert ASAP!

Suck it up College Players.......

I'm hearing a lot about college players getting upset with not getting paid while they're in school for jersey sales, video game covers, etc. First of all, if you're good enough to have a jersey in circulation or to be on a video game cover at the ripe age of 20, then chances are that you're gonna be ok in the financial department in a few years. Secondly, YOU ARE GETTING PAID DUMB ASS! You're getting a free education at a top notch university with the free meals, books, and I'm sure the best dorm that the school offers. Not the P.O.S. I lived in at Texas State University (no disrespect Falls Hall, much love). Also, if chicks were currency, I'm sure you're filthy rich. Being on national T.V. most weekends with a few guest appearances on ESPN top 10 has to help with the ladies. So instead of b*tching about how you didnt see any benjamins from one of those nameless jerseys in the stands, just be happy for what you got.....a HOV lane to fame and fortune. Just stop being greedy and wait your 3-4 years to get rich instead of a lifetime like the other 95% of the world.

Oh yeah, that reminds me.....I got a letter today requesting that I turn in my bowling trophy from 2nd grade. The committee just found out that my day care gave me arcade money the day I bowled that stellar 84. They're erasing all my records. Those bastards.

Uniform Round-Up.....

Other than stadiums, there's nothing more classic about sports than the uniforms. So let me break down the CURRENT uni's out there and distinguish the brutal ones from the awesome. And a few "so-so's" mixed in.

Because being negative is more fun sometimes, lets start with the most brutal of the bunch (yes, these are in order from worstess to worst):

1. Atlanta Thrashers. Not only is this by far the worst name of a professional franchise, the uniforms are uglier than John Clayton. And NO, he's not my uncle.






2. Arizona Diamond Backs. Here's how I imagine the team meeting when this decision was made: "So listen guys, I know theres already a ton of National League teams with red in their unis, but what's one more right? Then lets take the most ridiculous font and put some crappy hip abbreviation of "Diamond Backs" on the jersey."





3. Toronto Blue Jays. For Pete's sake, you're a professional baseball team! How are these the new uniforms? Nothing special and the home jerseys have some weird blue jay morphed into a letter J. Give me Adobe Photoshop For Dummies and I'll have a better logo for you in the morning after I eat my Lucky Charms.



4. Tennessee Titans. Helmets Brutal, check. Titan logo stupid, check. Color Scheme something a Canadian Team football team would have, check. Its the Titans! You think a Titan would approve of this? Considering they carry swords, probably not.






5. Oklahoma City Thunder. "Which of these things is not like the other, one of these things just don't belong" (I hope most of you know that song). Chicago Bulls, Boston Celtics, Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder? Not only do they have the worst logo of all time, but the colors are awfully close to #1 on the list. One of the options for team names was "Oklahoma City Barons" with Black, Gold, and White uni's. Who in that board room decided against that? I'll give you a hint, it was probably a woman! oh snap!!

HONORABLE MENTION: Jacksonville Jaguars, Florida Panthers, Sacramento Kings, Milwaukee Bucks, and St. Louis Rams.

Ok, that was fun. Now let's get to the classics. These are the top 5 uniforms in my opinion from the awesome-est to the awesome.



1. Oakland Athletics. Yes, they're in the Rangers division and Yes, their stadium is the 2nd worst in the league (I'll breakdown stadiums in a future blog, yay!), but these classic threads are the best in the biz. Haven't been touched since the late 80's. Why mess with perfection? Something about these uni's just makes me want to shoot up some steroids and write a book (Jose Canseco reference for those keeping score at home).


2. Dallas Cowboys. Biased opinion? Of course not! You don't become Americas team with average uniforms. The home jerseys are great, but those road blue's are a masterpiece. "Tony? You dont have anything funny or sarcastic to say about the Cowboys uni's?" I got nothing, just thinking about how awesome they are makes me get emotional. Give me a minute, Im actually getting emotional now. Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic, "Nicholas Cage in the Sorcerers Apprentice. End of a career?", go.



3. Pittsburgh Pirates. They may have the leagues worst record year after year, but at least they look good. Kinda like the guy that plays city softball and wears wristbands, under armor, and batting gloves but cant get it out of the infield.



4. Chicago Bears. Pure classic. I love the orange on blue and the socks are amazing. Too bad they destroyed Soldier Field with the brutal make over. When I think of the Bears, I think of Tecmo Bowl and destroying everybody with Walter Payton. Down....Set....Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut.





5. Los Angeles Lakers. As much as I hate to admit it, the Lakers uniforms are pretty awesome. The only team in the NBA who has standard colored jerseys for home games (except Sundays). But I still dont understand how these guys are world champions with Luke Walton, Jordan Farmar, Adam Morrison, and Sasha Vujacic on the team while the Mavs can't even beat a washed up spurs team. I guess Kobe and Phil Jackson really are that good.


HONORABLE MENTION: Los Angeles Dodgers, Chicago Blackhawks, Washington Redskins, Chicago White Sox, Boston Celtics, and Oakland Raiders.

Well, there you have it. This is my opinion on the best and worst uniforms in professional sports. If you disagree, chances are that you're wrong ;). If you're team or any others arent represented on this list, then you got yourself an average uniform.

How Steinbrenner helps me appreciate Dallas.......

Most of you know by now that George Steinbrenner (long time owner of the New York Yankees a.k.a The Evil Empire) passed away today following a heart attack. So of course ESPN is all over this and has made it a huge story considering that theres not much else to cover other than yesterdays home run derby. But what Im hearing is most about is how much he meant to the franchise, in both negative and positive ways. But when the ESPN analysts are asked to compare current owners to Steinbrenner, there's 2 names that come up most often; Mark Cuban and Jerry Jones (And Jerry Buss, Lakers owner but who cares about him). So 2 owners that are synonymous with doing whatever it takes to win and having a true passion for their teams are both representatives of Dallas franchises. No matter how bad its been the past 5 years with choketastic results, at least we know that we've tried.....

Just try harder......

Hey Lebron and Bosh, dont be "those guys".....

Dont do it. Dont pull a KG and Ray Allen and head to a team that was mediocre and win a championship. Please don't pull a New York Yankees and create a lop sided team in the east, it's horrible for the game (btw, am I the only one that hates Mark Texiera? He's the only MLB player that can not stand). "But Tony, didnt your precious Dallas Cowboys do it in '94 with their championship by signing Prime Time?" Actually no, thats ONE player on the field with 10 others. We're talking about adding the 3rd greatest player of all time in Lebron (yes i said it) and another potential Hall of Famer in Bosh, to a roster with a guy (d-wade) that isnt too shabby himself (Its hard for me to give Wade too much love ever since the '06 finals when the miami cheat took more trips to the line than Michael Irvin did in the glory days). So if this becomes reality, you'll have a starting 5 that will be too strong for ANYBODY to compete. The only thing that would cost them a title would be an injury. I'm sure David Stern would love this and he would get all the ratings he wanted if the Fakers and Cheat made it to the finals next year. (Queue stoner in the quad "it's a conspiracy man"). But what happens to the Bucks, Kings, Sixers, Wizards, and the other teams that will have absolutely NO shot at a tilte for the next X amount of years. Team morale and the fan base will simply be going through the motions just trying to get through the season with false hopes. Scratch that, NO hope at winning a title.

So for the NBA, dont do it. Lebron, go to Chicago and win a few more rings for the Bulls. Bosh, head to Miami by yourself. Joe Johnson and Amare, see you in New York and I hope you can get that franchise turned around. Yao Ming, just stay put because you'll just go shatter some other teams dreams when you get hurt again. And Dirk, do what you're supposed to do and stay put and win me a title.

P.S. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict that the city of Cleveland will HATE Lebron for leaving. Although I dont blame him, but the bitter Cleveland fans need something to add to their wall of shame. Whenever I feel blue about my Dallas teams, I just think about Cleveland. Then my glass is half full. Which is good because it's filled with Jack Daniels on the rocks that I chug to ease my pain after each dramatic playoff loss (just kidding. I just made up the Jack Daniels part to look cool. Its usually filled with Iced Tea or Cool-Aid, preferably grape.)

Pfffft.....Music these days......

Word on the streets is that most of the major music labels will be going under soon....

"Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke is warning the music industry is on the brink of collapse, insisting young musicians should resist signing record deals because the major labels will “completely fold” within months."

Here's a wacky idea, stop producing music that sucks! I have the perfect place to start for you big record labels.....taking notes?......get rid of Miley Sirus. Take your horse teeth and move on, You're a B-Spears train wreck in training. You call that music.....or talent for that matter? Then lets go ahead and cut Justin Beiber while we're at it and any other gimmicks that you have in mind in the comprehensive business plan. Dont get me wrong, I love to get crunk to Weezy, Jay Z, T.I., Drake etc. But Im not always at a lounge to drink red bull and vodka to those beats these days. I need less about how you're stuntin, less about your stacks, and less about how many hoes you got lined up.

Country music I wont spend too much time on. The 90's country music was the best, hands down. Hasnt been the same since. Really Tim McGraw? You remember when a coke was a coke and a screw was a screw? Well I remember when country music was good. Seriously, how does that song actually get recorded and put on an album...blows my mind. Yo T-Graw, you're actually a better actor than artist.....just sayin'. The Blind Sind was decent stuff.

Todays Rock Music is buhhh-rutal these days too. Really Hinder? Really Three Days Grace? I need more Incubus, Jimmy Eat World, System of a Down. Wheres the music that actually sounds good and has substance and a message? The 70's are a good example. Led Zeppelin, Boston, Journey, Beatles, AC-DC, Rush....what do these bands have in common? Its called staying power, learn about it today's bands!

Moral of the story, Music needs to be more than just something to party to. Give me something that opens my mind and makes me feel alive. Give me something with heart and soul and makes me think. (If you really want to do some heavy thinking, listen to Sigur Ros or Explosions in the Sky. If you dont figure some things out after listening to that, then you need to check your pulse). Get creative with the sounds and lyrics and maybe......if you have a brain and you're truly an artist......write your own lyrics from time to time! Yes, Im sure some of your heads explode when asked to do that, but remember how talented you are (rolls eyes)? Im sure you can do it........

Now go surprise me.

Strasburg Pirates......

Yes, Strasburg is sick. He completely dominated the Pitsburgh Pirates (not hard but still impressive) last night and lived up to the hype Lebron style. I'll spare you the stats because I'm sure that ESPN will shove it down our throats over the next few days. But what makes this even more sweet is that our old buddy Pudge Rodriguez was behind the plate during this history making debut. What can make a rookie feel more comfortable than having ole reliable behind the dish. I miss Pudge.

So it made me think of some other classic Rangers that have come and gone. This should bring back some good memories......

Fair weather fans deserve storms.....

This post is a little late, but at the end of May, the Chicago Cubs made a trip to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. Nice little Interleague contest, should be entertaining right? I was unable to attend the game but I watched on WGN, brutal enough. I couldn't help but notice all of the Cubs fans in attendance, not to mention the most un-professional, biased sportscast of all time. Whenever the Cubs would get a hit, I could hear all the fans cheering. Almost a 50/50 split I'm sure.

My question is where did these guys come from? I mean really? Did they bust out their dusty jerseys, caps, and T-shirts from the closet that they never wear? Maybe they bought a shirt when in the Chicago airport once and decided, "hey, lets go root for the cubs. I have a cubs shirt i can wear. I'll act like I'm die hard and that I've been rooting for the team my whole life." Did the city of chicago ship a bunch of fans to Arlington on a Greyhound? Im not sure but I know that Yankee and Red Sox "fans" are the same way. I just want to punch every one of them in the face individually. Line 'em up. Unless you're an old man in a wheelchair. But even you're riding a fine line sir. I mean, a few scattered fans are ok, I expect that. But dont act like they're your "team". Chances are that you couldnt even name everybody in the line up or tell me where Johnny Damon went.

Also, if someone asks you who your favorite teams are and you reply with, "ah dude, Lakers, Yankees, and Saints dude".....don't ever talk to me again (unless you're from each one of these cities.) Other teams that qualify for this example are the Colts, Red Sox, Cubs, Celtics, Red Wings, and the NY football Giants. The Rays are almost on the list too.

So it begins...................

I've wanted to start my own blog for a while now. Different things have held me back for a variety of reasons. What things? Well......babies, puppys, jobs, spit up, dirty diapers, lack of sleep, poop on the floor, yard work, piggy back rides, and watching I Carly and Mickey Mouse Club House to name a few. But low and behold, my first blog. So it begins.......